Treading Air

Treading Air (Original Music & Lyrics)

Treading air (Original Music & Lyrics)
© Duke Hollister 2010

They say he walked on water
across the waves and seas
I used to close my eyes & stare
in dazzled disbelief…

So many led to slaughter
no mercy no relief…
how can Heaven scorn the prayers
of they who suffer for belief?

I’m just one speck of pollen
I know we’ll all be gone
drops in a flood of the fallen
but while I’m warm I’m strong

So tired of kneeling and crawling
So sick of feeling weak n small
freed from a slave master calling
Don’t need to beg or bawl

If you think I’d drink his blood
Well I refuse to touch a drop
I may be headed straight to hell
But I’ll be seated at the top!

Every mans judged a sinner
but we’re all innocent I swear
Instead of drowning with our fathers
…We’re up here treading air!

“In nomine dei nostri Satanas Luciferi Excelsi! Behold! I am the god of yesterday, today, and tomorrow – the Guardian of Time and Eternity! Sovereign! Unique! Undefiled in wisdom! Unmatched in strength! I call upon the elements to serve me and the forces of creation to manifest my desires!! Arise! Enter into this Working by the words of which follow:”

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GarbageBand Rage Letter to Apple

How many versions of GB is it going to take to get the audio INPUT / OUTPUT device preferences user workflow unfucked? Have you ever heard of a SAVE USER PRESETS option so I don’t need to retrain my autistic laptop every skull fucking time I use it? At least you FINALLY “streamlined” it A TINY LITTLE BIT in v7 so I don’t have to click thru the same asinine pie-faced prompts “Are you schoor you wanna doo dis? DUUUHH!!!” Yes thou vasthole, and I’d like you to NEVER ASK AGAIN. How about a little CHECKBOX there, so the GD GB wares can LEARN how I WORK instead of CRASHING when I swap out the MIC for a FUCKING GUITAR!!!!??? Like I do five million times a week. HOLY SHITSNARLS you geniusaren’ts can be astounding collar-munchers when it comes to essential usability. Q: Have you collected any actual user feedback on this aspect of GB? Try this one metric: Qty of users who indicated ‘Y’ to Q: “I would sell my facial cartilage for the righteous honor of kidney-trenching the engineer in charge of this special corner of hell”. Or do you just log the system memory dumps and figure “Steady as she queefs! Steve can’t make us do stuff no more!” You murder the creative vibe with bloody cudgels of apathy. It makes me hate Apple as a whole entity that YOUR PREFERENCES STILL SUCK DICK FOR LUNCH this far into the GB dev process. No possible valid excuse can exist for this escheleon of dereliction when the rest of the GB dev team is CLEARLY RAD. To that worse than useless keg of pustule detonation offal who calls the shots on GB Preference Menu Design: Dear Sir; I bid thee Die Alone Tonight! Go out like a good Roman, you dry rot cog. You ape upon Olympus. You polyp. Whoever you fucking are and should not be… just get replaced.

Post Scrapped: Thanks for undoubtedly shit-canning or more likely never even reading this heartfelt screed that would drastically improve your (could be great) crippled product. Time to bit torrent Logic PRO I guess. Later butt slugs.

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Urbane of Your Existence

Victory is mine, once again.

Thanks for your definition of Luciforbid!

Editors reviewed your entry and have decided to publish it on urbandictionary.com.

It should appear on this page in the next few days:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Luciforbid

Urban Dictionary

—–

Luciforbid

Luciforbid

a. A portmanteau derived from the combination of the proper name ‘Lucifer’ and the verb ‘forbid’

b. An contraposing alternative to the idiom* “God Forbid” used interjectionally to express dismay or earnest condemnation of any hypothetical circumstance to which the speaker would object on grounds that it would run counter to their depraved, unholy, decadent, egocentric, pleasure-driven, self-serving, hedonistic or otherwise anti-altruistic, “Satanic” interests, efforts and preferences.

“I think I’ll call up Anton, unless – Luciforbid – he’s renounced modern technology and become a bearded Luddite!”

“Crap! This thing needs fresh batteries. Grab the ones out of Grandma’s heart monitor if, Luciforbid, there are no more new AA’s in the fridge!”

CAM00484

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Thou Art Bad. Stop painting, please!

I hate this piece with an almost personal fury, of the sort I rarely find cause to conjure outside of fist fights and moments of married life. From the very first instant it confronted me, treasonously turning the very pixels of my beloved laptop to it’s seductive horrors, I felt the urge to assault the canvas and then perhaps persuade the artist to take up prostitution or compulsive hoarding. Yet… time passed like a wounded serpent, furtive in the background like static from another room – and yet I still looked on. In fact, after trying unsuccessfully to wrench my attention from the ghastly art-crime, I found my whole self captive to it’s thrall! In an effort to disbelieve or at least explain the occipital atrocity, my visual mind drilled and scraped and pounded against the mutilated chaos standing unashamed before  my face… eyes rattling and buzzing madly around within the blunt, indelicate soot black containers of this grotesque tropical labyrinth like a hapless pair of sherbet conures sucked by a sirens lips onto a monstrous flypaper deathtrap. I don’t believe I have ever seen such powerful work. I utterly despise it, but it has become my fetish, my muse, my prison cell, my captor, my foe, my home. 

Fucking awful. Can't look away.

Possible by timebush on DeviantArt – http://timebush.deviantart.com/art/Possible-281154275

 

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God Rant Me The Insanity

Original Platitude: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Minimally Edited: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I should; and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Long Version:

I shall cultivate the stoicism to accept any irksome but nonlethal bullshit upon which I deem it impossible or imprudent to impose my will so that I might clearly focus my mind on engaging the full force of my energies in the endless joy of consciously evolving myself from within & manifesting the change I truly desire to see around me in the transcendent beauty of existence to which that piddly bull shit can otherwise blind me,  while maintaining the objectivity to perceive the difference between the foregoing epistemological categories of thought and action.

Travel-size Version:

“Kneel, stand or suck it yourself.”

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Calculate God Delusion Index

Calculate Your God Delusion Index based upon a series of questions and their (seemingly arbitrary) corollary numerical point values, then send the results in using this handy form:

If you want to provide additional details like your name, email and any comments you may have in response to this little quiz, here ya go…

 

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